muffindoodle

Once again last night, Muffinman and I thought we were too tired to do anything remotely interesting once we landed in bed. Once again, we were wrong. :-)

We were lying there talking rather sleepily, and Muffinman began to stroke my clit -- very, very softly. It didn't take much of this before I became rather, um, damp. I lodged a pillow under my bottom and begged him to have his way with me.

Because he's such a gentleman, he obliged, licking and stroking my clit, sliding his fingers in and out of my cunt and essentially working me into a frenzy. I eventually began rubbing my own clit while he industriously worked his very talented fingers inside me. I came so hard and for so long that I'm pretty sure I came close to passing out.

When I regained consciousness, I looked down to find him grinning at me from between my legs. He suggested that it would be nice to return the favor, and I agreed, because of course I'm nothing if not polite. He lay down beside me and began stroking his very hard cock. It wasn't long before he groaned loudly, signaling his imminent orgasm; I moved down, slid my mouth over him and sucked every last drop out of him.

We fell asleep almost instantly. We were awakened a few hours later by a very loud thunderstorm; I rolled over and stroked Muffinman's ass, causing him to mumble a string of unintelligible (but very dirty-sounding) words. I really wish I knew what he was saying when he does that. :-)

Here's a narrative from an e-mail we received, that I couldn't resist sharing:

"Your blog is great!

Boyfriend and I check it almost every day while we're at work, then send each other obscene emails commenting on your activities -- and those we plan for the night ahead.

Best of all so far, for us, are your posts about taking Muffinman anally. My b/f was an anal virgin, but after reading about how you fuck Muffinman with the large blue dildo, I was inspired to buy a strapon. Turnabout seems fair to me.

Night number one -- boyfriend gasps and almost cums when I walk into the livingroom in heels, hose, garter belt and strapon rig. I take his hand, lead him to the bedroom and tell him to get his clothes off and "assume the position" lol.

There he kneels, in all his glory, sweating profusely. He's nervous and I'm loving it!

After a thorough lubrication and some fingering, I begin the process of taking his anal cherry. Slowly, punctuated by occasional "oh my god" and similar comments from him, I slide it in. About half way. He's getting used to it now and starts moving. I'm going slowly because I don't want to hurt him (not too badly, anyway) and because I don't know how quickly he'll start spurting if my appliance comes into contact with his prostate.

After about 5 minutes of slow, shallow teasing, he says, "I'm ready for it."

"Ready for what," I ask demurely.

"Fuck me, hard," he says. I do. Shoving it in to the hilt, pulling out, then slamming it back up his ass.

Sheets now covered with thick cum.

We both love it!!!"

Talk about turning the tables, their note got me hot! I might have to go in and clean the pipes ... On second thought, I think I'll save it for Slutmuffin's hot, wet pussy. Maybe the pizza delivery guy will come back tonight...

Are you getting sick of our rantings about asshats on Yahoo? Then skip this post and go to the previous one. That one's a dirty one. :-)

We've been IMed at regular intervals by a guy for the last few weeks who seemed like a fairly OK person. He IMed Muffinman yesterday and, during the course of their conversation, referred to me as "the wife" and "the Mrs."

That kind of thing is like fingernails on a blackboard to me. I loathe being referred to as though I'm a possession, and, as I told Muffinman last night, I don't think I have ever referred to myself as Mrs. anybody.

So the guy checked in again last night and asked to see our webcam. Muffinman talked to him a bit, then I took my turn. He was making some rather odd inquiries about whether we were together last night, and he kept coming back to the fact that in the photos on our Web site, we are never pictured together. Also, he observed, we were usually not together during the day. (Well, no, I said. We both work. In different places. Big complicated concept.)

His implication seemed to be that not only were we NOT two people, but perhaps we'd also made up everything in our blog. (We are indeed two people, and no, we didn't make up anything. Ask the pizza delivery guy from last night.)

While I was questioning him about those remarks, I also pointed out that I didn't like being referred to as "the wife" or "the Mrs." He claimed that he didn't understand my dislike for the terms and asked if we were married. Well, yes, I told him. In that case, he said, I was being overly sensitive.

I know -- just another example of a clueless asshat (and one more pathetic little candidate for our ignore list), but it led me to come up with a few tips:

1. If you're seeking permission to view someone's webcam, don't question their veracity or make accusations about their character.

2. If someone tells you they don't like something you've said, just apologize and try to get past it. (Unless, of course, you're a 450-pound poster boy for erectile dysfunction who calls someone a cum-belching gutter skank. There's no getting past THAT one.)

3. You know how when you meet someone in person, and you're attracted to that person, you try to be charming and clever? Well, guess what? It's a good idea to act the same way online. :-)

We nearly gave the pizza delivery guy a free show last night. For all we know, we did. (We've got big front windows.)

Muffinman had me splayed out on the couch last night, his tongue lapping at my clit and four fingers buried in my pussy, urging me to come and talking dirty (I love that), and I was moaning and bucking, when said pizza delivery guy knocked on the front door.

Instant heart attack. I know, I know, we were expecting him, and he was already late, but ... it felt just like it used to when you were necking on the couch in the living room and your parents walked in.

I answered the door in just a T-shirt. I could hardly walk, and my pussy was so wet I'm sure I left a trail. The delivery guy looked a little bemused, so it's possible he got a good look when he walked past the windows. My leg WAS up in the air, resting along the back of the couch ... and hey, all without benefit of webcam. :-)

Muffinman and I giggled over it in the kitchen. Unwilling to let the moment die, I raised one leg up, rested it on the counter and let Muffinman fuck me a bit before I turned around, stuck my bottom in the air and let him have at me from behind. Then I sucked my pussy juice from his cock, licking it all away industriously.

We did eventually also eat the pizza. :-)

To this point, we haven't had any takers on Slutmuffin's offer for a peek on our webcam. E-Mail us and make your case. I dare ya... ;-)

OK, way behind I am...

Our webcam experience was truly mind-blowing. (among other things.) We were playing with our new toy, teasing our new friend. Slutmuffin slid over to the couch, and assumed a very sexy pose, pussy lips peeking out from her black lace thong. Our friend suggested that she must be very hard to resist. Very hard indeed. I moved over to the couch, plunging my face into her now dripping pussy, not bothering to remove her panties, rather moving them aside, fabric sliding further into her ass. It was very sexy to see the thin band of black lace disappear below her pink, swollen lips. I easily slid two fingers into her, and put my tongue to good use, slowly at first, teasing her swelling clit. I moved my tongue directly onto her clit, and was rewarded immediately with a bucking orgasm. Knowing all the time we were being watched. I greedily drank her juices. My cock was so hard by now, I was exploding from my thong. I quickly removed it, exposing my cock to the camera, and plunged ahead. Slutmuffin looking into the cam as she again lost herself in a shuddering orgasm. Next time we have a visitor, we won't be quite so restrained. :-)

On to Sunday night.

Both of us, exhausted from entertaining weekend visitors, collapsed into bed. Slutmuffin allowed as though a nice massage would calm her jangled nerves. I obliged with a marvelous electric massager we call the "thumper." When I had finished, it occurred to me that there might be other uses for this marvelous piece of machinery. I carefully began stroking my cock, careful not to catch any hair ... Pretty soon, I was rock-hard under the intense vibration. Slutmuffin was slowly stroking her clit, encouraging me to let go of my load. Soon, I came with a shudder, spraying come on my chest, thick and warm. After cleaning up, I snuggled in behind her, and we fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

I seem to be WAY ahead of Muffinman in posting. He'd better hurry and catch up or I'll have to punish him. But he'd probably like that. :-P

We've gotten more fan mail:

"i greatly enjoyed reading through your blog today, and am resolved to attack my mate just as soon as he's home from saturday morning errands....  i wandered in from adultbackwash, in case you're counting, btw....
 
"i love the fact that you guys are in your 40s!  while i appreciate a naked 18 year old as much as the next perv, my sex drive at 18 was NOTHING compared to what it is now!  I'm 39 and, especially after hearing from folks like you, looking forward to my 40s!
 
"do a girl, slutmuffin, you'll both love it.....  we have a few friends who are more than friends -- around the house for dinner parties and squirt gun fights with the kids, and then find their way into our bed.  it's a nice warm lifestyle --
 
"anyway, enjoyed and turned on by your blog!"

And here's another one:

"I just read.. and re-read your posting on the Backwash site.  Whooo!  I
had to quickly learn to use my left hand to manipulate my mouse 'cause
my right hand was too busy pulling on my lips and rubbing my clit.  I
don't think I've ever enjoyed reading a posting so much.  Thank you. 
Just the thought of what it would be like to participate in your weekend
sessions was too much for me.  I had to drop the mouse and use both
hands -- I had the best orgasm.  What a lovely surprise.  Thanks again."

Once again, may I just say that it turns both of us on immeasurably to think that people are reading our blog and it's making them hot enough that they have to remove both hands from the keyboard and use them for other purposes. :-)

We also were notified this morning that we made the top-40 list on Adult Backwash. AND, as if that's not enough, we were featured prominently in one of the best sex blogs out there, the ErosBlog.

All this acclaim is going to go to our heads. Well, maybe not. :-)

We had a rather odd experience this weekend with a guy who IMed Muffinman very early in the morning via Yahoo.

Muffinman chatted with him at length and learned that he's a voyeur. Apparently his modus operandi is to arrange to have couples go to parking lots and have sex so he can watch.

Well, OK, to each his own. He popped up again last night, giving me my first opportunity to chat with him.

It was a short-lived, and it was also the last one I'll ever have with him. The first words that he regurgitated onto the screen directly aimed at me were "cum-belching gutter skank."

Turns out the guy weighs 450 pounds and, I presume, can't have actual sex himself, so he settles for watching other people do what he can't. Of all the sad stories we've heard in the last few weeks, ever since we embarked on this little project, that's the saddest.